I'm almost annoyed that Adam hasn't called. Is that bad? I know it's not his fault. I know he'd much rather talk to me than do whatever he's doing. But it's starting to bug me that he hasn't checked in.
I think I'm just frustrated. And I think I don't know how this works. Every time he's gone, whether at drill or on vacation or during the Guard's annual training, he always calls. I talked to him at least weekly when he was at Camp Roberts and Fort Stewart. He called even from Kuwait. And he called even the first couple of weeks in Iraq. I realize there wasn't anything going on then, and now there is. And I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed that maybe he's gone days at a time, and that's why he hasn't called. Or maybe he's just too lazy to head to the call center when he's on post. I can't blame him. He's probably tired. It's much easier to stay in his air-conditioned room than trek to the call center. I hate walking. I know how that goes.
I'm not angry with him. I'm just ... I don't know. I guess it's not knowing what's going on. Here, when he's not calling, it's because he's at the gym. He's working. He's in the bathroom. It's not because I have absolutely no idea where he is or what he's doing.
Sigh. I'm such a control freak.
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7 comments:
Stay strong, sweet girl. You know as soon as he can he will. He's probably just as frustrated as you. :)
I wouldn't really know, but I suspect that in the circumstances he is in now, he probably has the least control over what he does than at any other time. And I'm going to guess that when he has a moment to say, I'm going to do something for me, he's going to choose to call you.
Yes that's bad. He can't call whenever he wants. It's unfortunate but it's true. Calls can be far and few between. I wish I had better news for you about that. But he will call you when he can because he hearts you and probably can't think of anyone he would rather spent $100 to call than you. And perhaps he is off saving the world and can't call every week. He's a busy man. As morbid and icky as this sounds, sometimes no news just means he's busy, but perfectly fine- safe and in one piece.
Josh and I do most of our communicating by email. Its opened up a door for learning a different way to communicate. I love it. They'll be back to us soon enough. Its easier to not talk on the phone. Hearing his voice makes me so sad missing hims sometimes. Love ya lady. You are great.
E-mail really is an easier way of communicating when they are overseas. That's the only way we communicated with my dad when he was over there. We only spoke to him on the phone on Christmas. Anyway, I hope you aren't annoyed. I hope you are more concerned about the not knowing what he's up to and if he's ok. I was always checking the news whenever I hadn't heard from my dad to make sure nothing was going on over there.
Thank you, everyone, for your support. Maybe "annoyed" wasn't the right word. It's not even really about him, really. It's just me being me and not knowing what's going on and not liking it. I hate lacking information in general, and this particularly hits home. But you guys are so right.
And I didn't make clear that we actually haven't talked at all in a while, period. He hasn't e-mailed, hasn't responded to any Facebook messages ... so I assume he's out doing his thing. It's more me not understanding how all of this works.
The understanding part gets better. The waiting part not so much.
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